


One Moment

by Delenn (goddessdel)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Angry Sex, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark, F/M, POV First Person, POV Spike (BtVS), Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-03-01
Updated: 2003-03-01
Packaged: 2018-11-06 04:28:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11028642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddessdel/pseuds/Delenn
Summary: It was just one of those days. Just one moment, in one day, that changed everything for Spike and Buffy.





	One Moment

**Author's Note:**

> Date Started/Finished: March 1st 2003

_It was one of those days where the heavens clash jet black with streaks of lightening; where the sky and seas might as well be running bloody red. Where all the bleeding powers in the universe get together and decide, ‘Hey, we’re going to make your life sodding hell!’_

_Have you ever had one of those days? Where if just one thing had gone right it wouldn’t have all gone so horribly wrong?_

_I did, once. Damn near killed me, that day did._

_And I wish it had._

Waking up with Buffy next to me never ceases to amaze me. It’s usually short lived, but each time it happens, I can't help but bloody hope she’ll stay for a bit. “Morning, luv.”

She was awake before I said anything but now I feel her body stiffen. The very sodding idea of waking up with me repulses her or so she’s gone and convinced herself. “Spike,” the way she says my name, pretending that she doesn’t care, it drives me ‘round the bend.

And there we go, she’s up and getting dressed, back to me the whole time; can't bear to face me. I’m well aware that I should keep my bleeding mouth shut, but it’s hard with her leaving, again. Sometimes I think maybe I should just leave, see if she misses me at night when nobody’s ‘round to see us. “What’s the matter, pet? Wake up on the wrong side of the bed?”

Buffy spins toward me, her knickers and bra already on and clutching her shirt to her chest. She spits out, “See, the funny thing is, I don’t remember going to sleep IN a bed!”

Now that’s nothing short of ridiculous. “You were getting cold; figured moving to the bed would be easiest. Don’t get your knickers in a knot, Slayer, you were asleep.”

“That’s the thing, Spike,” she’s giving me her ‘holier then thou’ look again, never a good sign. “You moved me and I didn’t wake up… you could… I can't… Dawn’s going to be home soon; I have to go.”

That’s downright offending, it is. That she would think that I would… I love her, damn it! Why can't the stupid bint see that? “Don’t have to make it sound so dirty, Slayer. We do dirty enough things when we’re both awake.”

Her face pales, and apparently I’ve just reminded her what a ‘mistake’ this all is. Bullocks! But now she’s gone, slamming my poor, abused, crypt door. I get out of bed, more than a little annoyed, another perfect chance to start the day ruined! Slayer’ll probably avoid me for a couple days now, having everything so twisted up in her little head.

_Funny, I didn’t expect her to come back at all, especially after the throw down we had earlier. Always knew fighting made her wet, but still, figured she’d be all selfless, all good and noble like._

_Missing the bed, she slams us up against - oh bloody hell, I don’t know what - then we’re crashing down to the floor again and I can't help but wince as more bruises add to our earlier ones. I’m tempted to tell her to watch the crypt, but I hear her own hiss of pain as we fall and don’t I bloody know she’s done herself enough damage._

_Neither of us really cares whether the scratches, bites, and bruises are from fighting or shagging. They’re not gonna be any more explainable, and they’ll heal just as quick. So she can go back to the Scoobies and pretend she’s one of them, instead one of us; that her little world of black and white really exists. That she doesn’t get off just as much as I do on the pain._

_But not tonight._

S’not like I planned on running into Buffy in the cemeteries, is just I needed to kill something as much as she did. Not rightly sure how it turned into a sodding fist fight either. Course I’ve never been one to turn down fighting a Slayer, especially this one, but it was a little out of the blue when I rounded the corner and she full on belted me!

Now that I’ve got my bite back, with her at least, she takes out all her self-loathing on me. Feels she doesn’t need a reason to try and beat me up anymore. Sometimes I bloody take it, like some stupid nancy-boy ponce, sometimes I don’t.

Tonight I’m not going to stand by and be her bleeding punching bag! “Slayer, you were out of line before, and you bloody well know it”

“You’re a disgusting, neutered, THING!” And after taking me all unaware like, cow has the nerve to insult me! “Stay away from me, Spike,” punctuating her words with fists to my body.

Funny, when we’re actually fighting, like this, no holds barred fighting, we never notice the damage done to ourselves. I notice when my kick sends her reeling over a headstone, know she’ll be sore in the morning, but she doesn’t so much as wince. ‘Spose she knows when her punches give me a black eye, but I only notice that the swelling is messing with my vision.

There’s something so primal about our fights that I’m never quite sure which way is up. She knows I won’t kill her, I couldn’t, and I know she can't kill me, but everything else is fair game. Words and fists fly, along with any makeshift weapons, and we tussle it all out.

It’d be bloody beautiful, perfect, if she wouldn’t get so disgusted with herself afterwards. Not over the fighting, mind you, over the shagging. I wouldn’t mind if we went at it after a good fight, ‘cause we’ve gotten all the hate out. And there is hate, sometimes I bleeding hate the chit, and I know there’s times she hates me. Difference is, at the end of the night, I still love her, and she’s convinced herself she still hates me.

I can tell you how it starts, the fights, just never quite how they end. Usually one of us has had enough damage (usually me) that we finally pull back and realize how much sodding pain we’re in. This time I’ve actually got the upper hand when I realize that I’m pounding her into a wall so hard that there’s a Slayer-shaped dent in the bricks.

I pause for a minute, confused at how we can still do this, how I can hurt her so much without noticing. That’s all the time she needs, spinning me ‘round and pulling away.

Blood trickling from the corner of her mouth, she screams back at me, “You’re beneath me,” and then she’s gone.

Funny how that all works out, like.

_Sure it’d be more then a little absurd to say we’re bleeding peaceful in the sack, but tonight is nothing short of brutal. It’s like we took a few hours to recoup, nurse our wounds, and now we’re back at the fight._

_There’s been something off with her all day, with both of us, and I don’t like the feel of it. Her eyes are wilder then I’ve seen in a fair bit, and I’m no sodding kitten either. Still, I don’t like that look, can't help but wonder how things went with the wanker Scoobies today._

_I wish she’d just out and tell me, but she only allows us to communicate through violence. And I thought Dru had a thing about pain._

_Flipping her over, I pound into her, and I can tell she’s close. I’m close too, the only moment of peace we ever get together anymore. I remember when she used to tell me things, we used to talk; now all we do is fight. Bedroom or battlefield, it’s always been like that for me, all my life; dominate or be dominated. Slayer’s really got her pretty little world all screwed up into the darkness; it’s like she just found out that she had a dark side and it just consumes her sometimes._

_Suddenly her eyes open and she looks up straight at me, her eyes are sad I think, close to tears. Then the stupid bint does it, whispers, “I’m in love with you, Spike. I love you.”_

_Cor, how long have I wanted to hear her say that? The words, “I love you too, Buffy,” come out, but then she’s crushed my head to her and I’m pressing kisses to her neck._

_Everything’s a blur as we both reach that moment, and heaven help me, my demon surfaces. ’S happened before, but she’s using all her Slayer strength to hold my head to her neck, and my fangs slip into her throat the second they emerge._

_Never thought I could really hurt her but, in that one moment, I don’t want to pull away, I can't. Then Buffy starts to struggle, whatever insane thing possessed her a moment ago more than gone. Thing is, it’s too late, because I can feel her weakening, feel my demon taking over, feel the high of Slayer blood. I’m killing her; she’s dying, I can taste it, inside of her, right there._

_Death._

_Finally caught up with her, it did, and for that one moment, she wanted to die. One moment was all it took, and I had myself_

One. Real. Good. Day.


End file.
